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Filed under: Dumb Criminals | Tags: criminal, funny, idiot, silly, why?, wtf
We’re all guilty of breaking the law. Zoning ordinances, imbibing of questionable substances, traffic violations. It’s pretty commonplace. But there are those that take crime to a whole new level. The most moronic of less-than law abiding citizens. The stupid criminal. Obviously, they can fall into a few different classes:
Conspicuous Much?: Hey, guy. You’re breaking the law. In broad daylight. On a well-traveled street. In plain sight of a cop car. While wearing a rainbow unitard. And you’re shouting obscenities.
Ruuuuude: Yup, it looks like that cop is writing you a parking ticket/pulling you over/handcuffing you and throwing you forcefully into the cruiser. I don’t think you’re going to do much for your case by ripping off your wife-beater in drunken anger while shouting, “I’m innocent!”
Just…What?: Maybe you could’ve gotten away with what you were doing. Completely fine. But guess what. For example, you were drunk then called the cops on yourself like this Rhode’s scholar:
But that lovely gem has nothing on the alpha and omega of silly criminals who embodies all the best markers of idiocy. You have to give it to him for his tenacity though:
Filed under: Crazy Christians, Uncategorized | Tags: bigot, brother micah, evangelical, idiot, quotes, zealotry
401168056_d6e737fbe3, originally uploaded by spraynardkreuger.
“I’m not against women going to school as long as they take the right classes.”
“In America, maybe 5% [of people are going to Heaven.]“
“Gangster rappers, Hollywood movie watchers and rock’n’rollers are wicked and they love violence. And God abhors them.”
“Most people are going to go to Hell, according to Jesus.”
“When your penis gets hard, you don’t stick it in her mouth, you don’t stick it in her anus, you stick it in the vagina. That’s where it goes.”
“The Surgeon General has determined that sodomy is dangerous to your anus.”
“Jesus said ‘Masturbators go to Hell.’”
“Most Protestants in America are going to Hell. They’re not real Christians.”
“Martin Luther King Jr. was an adulterer, he’s in Hell. Mother Teresa is probably in Hell. Gandhi was an idolater. He wouldn’t even have sex with his wife.”
(In song) “It’s not OK to be ga-ay, it’s not OK to be a homo. You shouldn’t be that wa-ay, God says ‘it’s a real big no-no. It’s not OK to be gay, it’s not OK to be a homo. It’s not in your DNA, what you need is to be converted.”
“Not all the girls out here are whores, just most of them. A woman that is a whore is one that has premarital sex.”
“Brother Micah used to be a whore monger. A whore monger is a guy who has sex with girls he’s not married to.”
